At the point of no return

I’m at the point of no return.

I was lucky enough to get an offer from my uncle to continue my studies in the Australian University early this year, when I got my STPM results. It was indeed an opportunity that does not come very often. I have never thought of having a chance to go study abroad. So there I went, with my ‘below average’ results, to get all the information about the Australian Universities, and started to apply for the courses and university that I wish to enter.

From the 5 applications that I sent out, I got offer from 3 universities. Besides that, I also got an offer from the University Sains Malaysia. It was unbelievable that I am eligible to be a student in one of the good universities. As I have better opportunity to study, I have no choice but to give up the offer from USM. I know that it was a little wasted that I didn’t take up the offer, as I was one of the lucky ones who got exactly what I desired in my application to the local university. Moreover, I let go the chance of being as a student of the popular university that most people would wish to get in. So I look forward to study in the Monash university Malaysia campus, hoping to complete my final year in Australia.

I just looked on as my friends all entered to their offered universities and started their wonderful university life. Just as when I thought that I will soon be like them, I got a bad news from the Monash University, telling me that I might not get the course I applied for because my results are just slightly below the minimum requirement of the university. Instead, I got offer for a course that I’m not interested in. My uncle then asked me to choose between studying in local Monash or to accept the offer for next year from one of the three Australian universities.

I wasn’t very sure why was I being so ‘brave’ at that time, in making the decision to study abroad. It was my own choice, with no forcing from my uncle, neither of my family members. It’s strange that sometimes I wondered if I have made the wrong decision. There’s just too much to consider, and thus to handle even now. It hasn't been a smooth way from accepting the offer till now. Should it be better if, in the first place, I chose to study locally?

I have to admit that I have a little regret on my decision. I understand that I have to fully depend on myself when I’m alone on the foreign land. But problems that occurred recently between my uncle and my aunty made me feel worried. I’m worried about them when I’m away. I’m worried if there’s no one to help me when I have problems in Australia. And I’m sorry to be so selfish; I’m worried about the late remittance of my expenses in Australia, or if one day my uncle no longer in support of my finance.

I know there’s no way for me to turn back, and thus no point for me to feel any regrets. My decision to further my studies in Australia involves a considerable amount of money over a long period of time.How can I feel at ease when my uncle has paid so much for everything? I have made my uncle to pay a large sum of money as my first semester tuition fees, and that I must keep moving on, no matter how difficult it is, and no matter how unwillingly, how regretful I am.

I really don’t know how to repay my uncle’s kindness, but I will try my best to excel in my studies, and to success in my future.

Good luck for me in Australia! Gambade~